The /Bored Thread

Needonboots · Wed Jul 28, 2010 13:43 pm

Someone posted this at Maintankadin:

Farmed some heroics for triumph for a pvp resto off set for my shaman.

Hit queue as resto and it was < 1 minute all day. That's where the positive stops. I was impressed by each and every person that I met. There was -

The all star facing the large life sucking mechanicals at the group. The group was inclined to oblige the death ray and spent their admiration basking in its glory. Melee dps was so impressed that they felt it best observed in front of the mob.

The "all in one guild 4 death knights" looking for some random healer to punish with their combined 2000 dps. (Yes all 4 = 2000 dps)

The whilwind fan club. I saw many members from so many different realms. The power boost that whirlwind applies is so massive. They fall over from exhaustion almost as soon as it is applied. It must be a rush as a dps - like heroism x 1000. Which brings me to...

The crowd that believes because "I have hero so none of the damage inflicting black holes, poison clouds, mob whirlwind, and STOP DAMAGE messages on my screen matter". Only the recount meter and the healer's lack of ability to keep me alive while I break records on recount matter." It is this person's job to point out the failure of the healer to keep them alive during hero, because they were going for a personal best dps in said heroic.

The tank that believes no one will notice his 24,000 hit points in H FoS if he pulls like a tank that has 54,000 hit points. Yeah, no one noticed buddy.

The two boxer that was powerleveling their 2 death knights. More than likely couldn't tank or dps if it was the only toon they were playing. I almost found humor in watching them pretend not to be the same person. I didn't find any humor in their lack of ability to do either of their selected roles. /autofollow you have betrayed me!

The paladin tank that identified my resto shaman as an off tank because of my shield. He allowed me to off tank the majority of the trash while he handled his one selected mob for the group to dps. Two mobs pummeling me. I am healing the off tank (which is me) and my effort to have the main tank pick the adds up has failed. (Typing "adds on me" didn't grab his attention) Startled at the presence of my earth elemental totem and my lack of gratitude for my new role as off tank. He was bound by the honor and code of the main tank to chew out his off tank for using such devices as it starves his mana in a simple heroic. I don't even...

General Bjarngrim (the first boss in HoL) is best pulled by a dps death knight with death grip while the tank is occupied with 6 mobs. General Bjarngrim must also be charged up when you do this or you don't get the power buff he bestows on the group. This is also a great place to utilize the shaman off tank as well. The lieutenants he has at his side are to be ignored by the group in this strategy as killing them will cleanse your power boost. The shaman off tank should kite them around while the group proceeds to give Bjarngrim the recount breaking beating of his life.

Oculus tends to cause boredom in the healer. This can be overcome if the tank flies through as many adds on the way to a platform as possible. Once you reach the platform you dismount and run into the center of the mobs immediately. The 4 drakes you aggro'd on the way there will make it more fun for the healer. Hmmm... I decided to stay on my drake. Let the tank die. Kill the adds. How could I be such an ass and not jump off my drake and partake in the fun that they had provided for me? My failure to partake in this fun must have been because I suck. At least before the tank quit in a flurry of obscenities, this was the message conveyed to me.

I realized yesterday that they have changed the dungeons around since the launch of Wrath. I remember different heroics with different strategies. The strategies seemed to get easier the better gear that I obtained, but I must have missed some patch notes somewhere. I have failed to evolve with the changes implemented in the game. The more evolved players who have kept up with the patch notes do not appreciate my lack of knowledge about these changes. These heroics have become very serious and are not to be taken lightly as they once were. There are a lot of intricate things going on in them. I hope I can find the patch notes I missed so I can uncover the new strategies and not feel as left out. I think I found some.

Ingvar the Plunderer

- Ingvar now provides a boost to melee dps. This damage boost can only be recieved standing directly in front of Ingvar.

Ormorok the Tree Shaper

- Ormorok will bestow the group with a hastened attack. This buff can only be received if the player is standing directly on top of the periodical spikes he forms in the ground. The player must remain still and not move to recieve the hastened attack bonus.

Keristrasza

- This large dragon who finds her home in the Nexus will now penalize shadow priests for moving. Jumping and any directional movement will cause the dragon to enrage and demolish the entire group. Shadow priests are required to remain motionless for the duration of the fight.

Brann Bronzebeard Event

- During this event in the heroic Halls of Stone encounter, Brann will now assist the group when the security level gets heightened. This was a source of difficulty for many groups that we have decided to change. This new ability will shoot a flaming pillar on to the ground. This pillar must be stood in by at least 2 players for the duration. Movement will cancel the new buff from being applied.

Drakkari Colossus/Drakkari Elemental

- We have decided to change this event during both phases. Rather than a movement based fight, we would like for players to enjoy their talents in a new format. This boss in heroic version will now apply small purple puddles to the ground. These puddles will no longer drain health from the player standing in them. These puddles will now drain life from the boss in both phases. His health can only be drained if players are standing in these puddles.

Ionar

- This third boss in Halls of Lightning heroic will see some changes this patch. During phase two, players were previously encouraged to run away from Ionar when she disperses. We felt this was unnecessary and needed some changing. With the increase in gear we think that healers can now heal through the damage incurred during this phase. Players are encouraged to stand still and absorb the damage. We believe this will add some excitement to a previously boring encounter.

Loken

- This event is also one that has changed with increasing health pools. As gear has increased the strategy on this last boss in heroic version of the Halls of Lightning required some updating. Ranged players will now be encouraged to stand as far away as possible. The closer a ranged player stands, the less damage they will do. Hunters are encouraged to take abilities that increase their range. This should make them an unstoppable force on this fight and feel it gives the class a much needed boost. While tempted to shoot at as close a range as possible without entering melee, we feel this new buff will encourage them to stretch to ranges previously unimaginable.

The /Bored Thread

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